I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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