This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
