the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
