he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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