This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
