Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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