yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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