I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
