she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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