There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
