You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
