Swine flu. Run for my life!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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