just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
