This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
