Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
