I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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