That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He better not be in your backpack
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
