Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
