hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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