Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
