3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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