I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am available for nakedness
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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