I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize