Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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