I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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