3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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