come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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