So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
organizing the empties. That sober.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
