god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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