I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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