I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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