He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
