my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he thought i was a dude.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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