Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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