i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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