Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
