Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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