"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
