apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize