Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
