i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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