dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
