Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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