So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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