My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think your dad took our porno
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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