Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
