Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
