You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
