physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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