this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
