I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
