Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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