I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
