they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
