The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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