I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
