We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
