really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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