Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
