Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
