Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
