He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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